Guilt And Love
by NataliaRose015
Summary: "..Thorin...I'm afraid was wounded in battle, quite severely." / "B-But he isn't...dead...is he?" / 'he still lay unconscious. If he does not wake within a few days...We will assume him to have passed on." / "Where is he..?" / Nothing could have prepared him for what was behind that door.


It has been about a month since the battle of five armies, and even though it was now over and done with...Bilbo still had nightmares, which of course was to be expected after something so life altering. A tear made its way down his cheek as he remembered it. He still felt guilty because he at the time, had been so afraid, so frightened. Like a deer in headlights he was frozen as he watched the battle unfold around him. If he had not had the ring, he would have been dead in an instant. Now, I suppose your wondering where all this guilt he was feeling came from. It was because as everyone else was fighting, he had remained in the shadows, hiding. There seemed to be nothing he could do as elves and men and even dwarves fell to the ground. But he had hope that the company would survive, every last dwarf. Because unlike him, they were fighters, warriors. They had seen battle before and were more prepared then he ever could have been. But it seemed no matter how much he hoped, slowly members of the company were falling. Suddenly, there was a sharp pain in his side and he fell to the ground, the weight of what seemed to be a large rock on top of him, the last thing he saw before he lost consciousness was Kili taking an arrow to the chest. Bilbo watched in complete horror as Kili fell to his knees. Bilbo's vision started to fade to black. When he awoke, the sun was bright and shining. He gave a sigh of relief, for he had expected darkness and death to be upon them. He blinked rapidly trying to get his vision to clear of sun spots. He spotted a soldier not far from him, scanning the bodies, looking for anyone who happened to have survived through the night. Bilbo shouted to him, and was stunned as the soldier looked absolutely terrified. It was then Bilbo realized he still wore the ring, he pried it off his finger, revealing himself to the man. The man asked who he was, after the shock had worn off. "Bilbo Baggins-" Before he could continue any further, the man quickly began to pull him towards Erebor. He was pushed roughly through the halls and toward a large room, waiting for him there was none other than Gandalf. "Bilbo..." The wizard looked relieved, but still spoke in a sad tone, which made Bilbo suddenly afraid of what news he was going to receive. Gandalf hesitated, but was aware the other needed to know. "..Thorin...I'm afraid was wounded in battle, quite severely." Bilbo felt as if his heart had stopped beating when he heard the dwarf's name spoken with such a sad tone. He had begun to panic and he was quite sure the fear was written all over his face. A few minutes had passed before Bilbo had the courage to speak. "B-But he isn't...dead...is he?" Bilbo spoke so quietly, before he became impatient waiting for the wizard's answer. "Tell me he isn't dead Gandalf!" Gandalf was surprised by the hobbits sudden outburst, though it was to be expected as the news was very upsetting. "He is not dead...but we are unsure if he will make it, we have done what we could to help his wounds, but he still lay unconscious. If he does not wake within a few days...We will assume him to have passed on." Bilbo stood completely stunned by the wizards words, he covered his mouth with his hand, trying to stop the tears that suddenly welled in his eyes. he didn't think he had ever felt so heartbroken before. he looked up at Gandalf to see the wizard was making his way out of the room. "Where is he..?" he asked in a timid and sad voice, he began to head to the door at the other side of the room as Gandalf replied. Bilbo's hand was trembling as it grasped the door handle, slowly he pushed it open. He wasn't sure what he would see, and he was afraid. Nothing could have prepared him for what was behind that door. Thorin lay completely still, he was pale and his eyes were closed. His chest was bare of any clothing but it was covered by bandages. The tears had begun to slip from Bilbo's eyes as he looked at Thorin. He prayed the other would wake up, he would not be able to bear it if he didn't. It had been two days since the hobbit had received the news from the wizard, and he hadn't left Thorin's bedside, he was losing hope that the other would ever wake up. he had watched the other intently, waiting for any sign that he might wake. Bilbo hesitantly reached out with his small hand to touch Thorin's cheek, he stroked the skin lovingly and he swore he felt the other shift a bit. He pulled back and with a sigh, laid his head on the bed. He had been watching the other so much, never leaving the room except for when he absolutely had to. In two days time he had not gotten any sleep at all, no matter how much Gandalf urged him to. He realized he would never get a good nights sleep until the other awoke. With this in mind, he could not help himself by climbing in to the bed Thorin laid in. It was not as if the bed was tiny, it was actually quite large and could easily fit two dwarves in it, so he figured being a hobbit he could at least lay next to the dwarf without hurting him in any way. He felt his eyelids slipping closed as he laid next to the dwarf. Bilbo soon found himself drifting to sleep. Gandalf had come later that day to check on not only Thorin but Bilbo as well. The Hobbit had seemed to be very distant recently. Gandalf made his way through Erebor, heading to the room where Bilbo and Thorin would be. He was worried for the small hobbit as he had not left the room. Not even to sleep, he claimed he wanted to be there when Thorin woke up. Gandalf had walked through the first room to the door at the back, pushing it open and walking into the room, he started to speak, about to greet the hobbit. He turned around to see Bilbo laying upon the bed next to the Dwarf, sleeping. This is not what surprised him though, Thorin had shifted and his eyes began to open. - Thorin's POV - Thorin groaned as he awoke, the first thing he noticed was that he was no longer on the battlefield, fighting goblins. He knew he must have been in Erebor for he was in a room with walls of grey stone. His eyes flickered around the room, spotting the Wizard sitting but a few feet from him. He looked at him, curious as to what had happened. "How long have I been unconscious?" he asked in his normally gruff tone. "You have been out for about three days now...A lot of us thought you had passed on." "I do not believe I would ever allow myself to be slain so easily, and I most certainly would not die by the hands of a goblin or Orc." Gandalf sighed as he listened to the other, now allowing a small smile to form on his face, as the dwarf seemed to be okay. However, Thorin panicked as realization dawned on him. "The Halfling-" He said desperately, hoping the other had not gotten himself hurt, or worse killed. That was when he felt something or more accurately someone, nuzzle into his side and he could not help but let his lips curl into a smile. He subconsciously wrapped his arm around the small Hobbit. He looked back at the wizard as he spoke. "He hasn't left your side you know, we were becoming quite worried...This is the first time he's slept in nearly three days. He was terrified you weren't going to wake again, much more than the rest of us." "You worry needlessly, I am fine." He looked to Gandalf his eyes having a hard edge to them, hoping the Wizard would take the hint to get out. When the other made no move to leave he nodded towards the door. Seeing realization come across the wizard's face. "Ah well yes, Now that I know you are awake I will take my leave." he spoke as he got up to leave the room, grabbing his staff and hurriedly rushing out of the room to let Thorin be alone with Bilbo. Thorin watched with a look of amusement as the Wizard rushed to get out of the room, before looking down at the small hobbit beside him. He wanted to wake him but also did not have the heart to do so after hearing he had not slept the past three days. So instead he allowed himself to settle for placing his hand upon the others head, gently playing with the honey colored curls. Carefully leaning down he kissed the other on the forehead. "...Thorin..." The dwarf king pulled back as he thought the other was waking. He was shocked to see that the other was still asleep. He pulled back from the other, noticing the hobbit had shifted and was now waking up. -Bilbo's POV- Bilbo cursed as he realized he had fallen asleep, quite angry with himself. But his anger soon turned to complete and utter joy as he saw steely blue eyes staring down at him. Before he even realized what he was doing he had wrapped his arms around the dwarf kings neck, his fingers entangled in the others hair and was kissing him deeply. He was about to pull away realizing what he had done but was stopped and he felt relieved as strong arms encircled his waist, pulling him closer to the dwarf. Bilbo felt his cheeks flush scarlet as Thorin's lips pressed harder against his own, and his tongue swept across the hobbit's lower lip, asking for entrance. Bilbo shyly parted his lips, opening his mouth and allowing the dwarf king to claim every inch of it. Bilbo found himself panting within a few moments of the kiss, which was unlike any he had ever experienced before. This kiss was full of possessiveness, not that Bilbo minded in the slightest. He was brought back from his thoughts as he felt Thorin's hands begin to move from his waist, one moving to the small of his back to press him flush against the other's body. He shuddered at the feeling of being so close, and gave a small sigh of content. he broke away and stifled a gasp as he looked into blue eyes that were now darkened with lust. He took a deep breath trying to calm himself enough to speak. "I do hope you don't intend to continue this while being in the condition you are in." he muttered, concerned. It was not like he didn't want to engage in well, this sort of activity with the dwarf...but he was worried. "You could open your wounds...and we don't need you falling unconscious again.." He looked back at Thorin only to see the male smirking. Bilbo glared at him halfheartedly, not knowing what the other was thinking. He squeaked as the dwarf had begun kissing his neck, causing him to tilt his head back and whine. "I'm sure I would be fine, but if your so worried...we can just continue like this." Thorin murmured, grazing his teeth gently over the sensitive tip of the hobbit's ear. "With you on top." Bilbo's eyes widened as the words made a shameful heat engulf him. Now usually whenever the pair had sex, Bilbo usually found himself pressed into the mattress in some way. Either it be his face or his back, he was always on the bottom. So this suggestion came as a complete surprise to him, and he would be lying if he said it didn't excite him. 


End file.
